You said yes. Now what? Here’s how to start planning your wedding without spiraling into spreadsheets and panic texts.
There’s nothing quite like that first week after getting engaged. You’re still staring at your hand like it’s a newborn. Your phone’s blowing up with “OMG congrats!!!” texts. And then… someone says the words “Have you picked a date yet?”
That’s when the calm ends and the planning begins.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably somewhere between giddy and mildly panicked. That’s normal. Every couple goes through that “now what?” moment. The good news? You don’t need a binder, a wedding coordinator, or an espresso-fueled all-nighter. You just need a few grounded steps to start right.
The first 10 things that actually matter
1. Take a breath and celebrate
Don’t open Pinterest yet. Seriously. Pour a glass of something, call your best friend, and just be engaged for at least 24 hours. The planning can wait.
2. Tell your people
Start with the inner circle — parents, siblings, closest friends. They’ll want to hear it from you, not Instagram.
3. Set your rough timeline
Are you picturing a fall wedding next year or a quick spring celebration? A rough window helps guide every other decision.
4. Talk budget early
Not romantic, but it’s peace of mind in disguise. Even a ballpark number helps narrow down venues, guest count, and expectations before things snowball.
5. Draft a first guest list
Don’t overthink it. Just write names as they come to mind — anyone you could see being there. You’ll edit later, but this first list sets the scale for everything else.
6. Start collecting addresses
This one sneaks up on everyone. It sounds simple, but asking 100 people for their address is the first real “project” of wedding planning. And it grows fast. Use TextMyLink to collect them in one click instead of chasing replies for weeks.
If you want the deeper dive on timing, read When to collect wedding addresses (and everything else that sneaks up on you).
7. Choose your top 3 priorities
Decide what matters most to both of you. Maybe it’s food, photos, or the band. Knowing your must-haves makes it easier to cut costs or stress elsewhere.
8. Create a shared planning doc
Even a simple Google Sheet or shared Notes list helps you both stay aligned. It’s also a sanity saver when family asks, “What can I help with?”
9. Pick your date and start venue searching
Once you know your season and rough guest count, venues will start falling into or out of range. Availability does most of the deciding for you.
10. Enjoy being fiancés
There’s no prize for planning the fastest. The best part of engagement is the in-between — not newly dating, not yet married — just this happy, buzzing middle stage. Don’t skip it.
The calm before the checklist storm
You don’t need to have everything figured out. The first month isn’t about execution, it’s about direction. You’re setting the tone for how you want this whole process to feel.
If you start calm, you’ll stay calm. If you start in spreadsheet-mode, you’ll end up chasing perfection… and that’s where wedding planning gets messy.
Think of this stage as building your foundation. Everything else — RSVPs, seating charts, texts to vendors — can flow naturally once you’ve got your base in place.
If you’re freshly engaged, congrats. You’re already doing great just by reading this instead of panic-Googling “wedding checklist PDF.” Start simple, send a few texts, and remember… this is supposed to be fun.
A few calm decisions now will save you from chaos later.